


a better day

by juderagnarsson



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Dysfunctional Family, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 10:29:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16282925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juderagnarsson/pseuds/juderagnarsson
Summary: On his eighteenth birthday, Jungwoo visits a loved one's grave while his friends have a tiff in the background. He expects things to get worse from there, but to his surprise, things do get better.





	a better day

Jungwoo finds it easy to slip out unnoticed. It’s no different from any other morning: Dad, passed out on the couch. Mom, playing the piano while oblivious to anything around her. It’s been like this for days, months, years and Jungwoo just can’t bear to stay any longer. He thinks they might have even forgotten what day it is today, though he doesn’t dare ask if they remember. Without a word to either, Jungwoo quickly takes the good coat from his dad’s pile of clothes and then quickly walks out the door.

For the winter break, Jungwoo has taken on vocal training to avoid seeing his parents as much as he can. Two days before Christmas, he’s to sing for their church’s Carols by Candlelight concert, so training has become a rigorous affair in the days before the performance. Usually, he’d be going straight to practice early in the morning, but today is special so he arranges to meet up with his friends instead.

The past few weeks, Yuta and Youngho have been pestering Jungwoo about his decision to join the concert. Today, they make it abundantly clear, as they walk over to the local Lotteria, that Jungwoo ought to spend the break with them playing video games till god knows what hour.

“I dunno what to tell you,” Jungwoo says, which is met with concerned looks from Yuta and Youngho. “I just feel like I need to do this.”

The road is covered in snow and Jungwoo continues to find it such a pain to walk in so many layers. Jungwoo sneezes amidst the cold and Yuta tells him he looks like a bunny.

“Dude, he so does!” Youngho goes, giggling. Which is ironic, considering how bunny-like Youngho’s face becomes when he’s laughing his ass out.

Jungwoo sighs and rolls his eyes. He remains quiet while his two so-called friends don’t let up and continue to laugh at Jungwoo’s scrunched up, red face.

When they get to the front of the line at Lotteria, Yukhei comments on the same thing.

“You face is all red and scrunched up. You sure you aren’t sick dude?” he says.

“Aren’t you gonna ask me for my order first?” Jungwoo says, blowing his nose, which has already gone runny.

“I already know what you’re ordering. Chicken and cheese, right?” Yukhei raises an eyebrow and offers a smile. It’s always a wonder how Yukhei manages to look radiant despite his dirty uniform and thickening eye bags.

Jungwoo shrinks inside his coat. “Yes.”

“Happy birthday by the way,” Yukhei says, with a giant grin.

Jungwoo nods, tries on a smile. “Thanks,” he goes.

As he eats his chicken and cheese sandwich, he tries to drown out the noise from Yuta and Youngho’s mouths, as they’ve apparently decided to talk about aliens now, of all things. Youngho insists that aliens exist, while Yuta is an adamant sceptic. Jungwoo initially wants to voice out his agreement with Youngho but decides to just eat and bring out the card and pen he’d kept in his jean pocket.

 _Dear Minwoo,_ Jungwoo writes. _We’re eighteen now, can you believe it?_

It’s a short message to his late twin brother, the brother he barely knew. Every year, Jungwoo writes about how he died too young and how much better it would have been if he were here with them. It never becomes any less true. The tug in Jungwoo’s heart still hasn’t faded.

By the time he finishes writing, Doyoung has arrived at their table. With him, he has a small bouquet of yellow flowers — just what Jungwoo asked for.

“These are fine?” Doyoung asks, sitting next to Jungwoo.

“That’s some gay shit,” Youngho says.

“ _Wow_ ,” Yuta goes. “This coming from the guy who sleeps with a pink teddy bear.”

“Shut up, the both of you,” says Doyoung. He reaches out and gives them both a flick on the forehead. “Have some respect.”

“The fuck, man!” Youngho goes, bringing Yuta to a fit of laughter.

Youngho punches Yuta’s arm and tells him to shut it. “Dude, the teddy bear was supposed to be our secret!”

“Was it? I don’t recall you saying so.”

“Oh, so I guess you sucking face with Doyoung’s sister the other day isn’t a secret either?”

Doyoung’s face flares up, eyes wide and mouth agape. “You what!”  
  
“Wait! No! That’s not true!”

The cycle of smack and get smacked goes on and on. Jungwoo just watches it unfold. Right now, all he wants is for Yukhei’s shift to end so they can all go to the cemetery and see Jungwoo’s brother. If it weren’t for Doyoung’s insistence, Jungwoo would have gone there by himself. But it’s been a tradition for the five of them to visit the grave every year on Jungwoo’s birthday, so Doyoung gave Jungwoo no choice in the matter.

Yukhei arrives at the table at exactly 10:30AM, wearing a white tank top under his jacket. Jungwoo thinks it’s an unbelievably stupid outfit for this weather. But it’s Yukhei. So what was anyone to do?  
  
“So—Let’s go?” Yukhei smiles, which seems to bring everyone to a better mood. He and Youngho do an obnoxious secret handshake involving fists and body shakes. Yuta practically climbs Yukhei’s back as they approach the exit. Doyoung, for the first time today, laughs out loud.

Once they’re back on the snowy sidewalk, Yukhei lights up a smoke, which ruins Jungwoo’s line of vision. It’s a fifteen-minute walk, so the good mood inevitably sours when Yuta’s alleged affair is brought up once again.

“You gotta believe me man,” Yuta tells Doyoung. “I did not kiss your sister.”

“Bullshit,” Youngho coughs.

Doyoung grumbles and crunches his teeth. “I swear, if it weren’t Jungwoo’s birthday, I would—Fuck, I’d—”

“What?” Yukhei interjects, laughing. “Fuck him up? Beat his ass? Doyoung, you and I both know you’re nowhere near capable of ever doing that.”

Jungwoo agrees, but again, says nothing.

At the cemetery, Jungwoo takes the lead once they reach his brother’s tombstone. Jungwoo kneels down and uses his hand to wipe off the snow covering his brother’s name: Kim Minwoo. Gently, he sets down the flowers while his friends gather around him and bow their heads.

“Let’s start,” Jungwoo says. He coughs, stands, and Doyoung nods.

“Minwoo, I didn’t know you too well, but you would’ve been magnificent. You died much too young and we continue to miss you,” Doyoung says.

“Would’ve been an A-plus eighteen-year-old,” Youngho says.

“Nicer than anyone here, that’s for sure,” Yuta goes.

“Dude, you don’t think I’m nice?” Yukhei says.

“Um, barely,” Yuta replies.

Doyoung grits his teeth, “Fucking hell, guys, do you have to do this every time?”

Jungwoo ignores them and brings out his card, which he hugs against his chest. “Minwoo,” he begins, making everyone go quiet. “When you died, I felt like a part of me was lost. I knew that even then, when I barely had the words to express it. I know I said this the last time I was here, but—” Jungwoo kneels down again and sets the card on the tombstone, right under the flowers. He smiles. “I want you to know, Minwoo, that you were the best person in the whole world. Life has been nothing but dark without you.”

“I wish we could’ve been friends,” Doyoung says.

“We played together when we were three and—I still remember that smile you had, man,” Youngho says.

“Still remember the way you laughed,” Yuta says.

“Death just—It sucks ass,” Yukhei says.

Somehow, Jungwoo finds the most comfort in Yukhei’s words.

When Jungwoo stands up, Yukhei puts an arm around Jungwoo’s shoulder and it makes Jungwoo feel warm. For a minute, he’s no longer in the snow.

Their eyes meet. Yukhei smiles some. “Happy birthday, man,” he says, which everyone else repeats, patting Jungwoo on the back and the shoulder.

Their walk back to town is mostly silent. Yuta splits with them at the bus stop and Doyoung parts with them at the corner of his street.

Yukhei lights up another smoke and Jungwoo doesn’t have the heart to tell him to quit it, even though the smell is starting to make him feel a little sick.

“Did Yuta really kiss Doyoung’s sister?” Yukhei directs the question to Youngho while they walk the rest of the way.

“Nah, man. Was just making that up. I’m pretty sure they have a thing though.”

“Who would’ve guessed?” Yukhei says. “A bit messed up though. And that’s coming from the guy who has five fuck buddies.”

Jungwoo chuckles. “Repeating a lie doesn’t make it true.”

“What Jungwoo said.” Youngho laughs and Yukhei laughs with him.

“Ok, fuck, so maybe I only have, like, two. Still better than all you fuckers put together.”

Youngho raises an eyebrow. “You wanna make this a competition, dude?” he says, flashing a smirk in Yukhei’s direction.

The conversation makes Jungwoo sigh.

“Oh and I’m sure Jungwoo here can catch up to you easily!” Youngho says, hooking Jungwoo around his arm.

As if allergic to Youngho’s touch, Jungwoo sneezes.

“Nah.” Yukhei pats Jungwoo’s cheek and gives his runny nose a quick pinch. “Jungwoo’s much too pure for that.”

Plus, Jungwoo is much too busy to even think about having a fuck buddy. Having regular buddies is enough of a chore to begin with.

Jungwoo parts with them a couple of blocks away from the church. He knows neither will be going home yet, as they’re probably going off to make out with god knows whom. He wonders if Yuta’s having a tryst with Doyoung’s sister. Youngho had actually told Jungwoo weeks ago about his suspicions, so if his stories are to be believed, Yuta’s probably out there having a good time.

He feels a little listless at practice today. When he looks at himself in the bathroom, he finds that his cheeks are more red than usual. He always gets a bit sick around this time of year, but he’s always been able to manage it.

One of the other soloists, Mrs. Lim, holds Jungwoo’s forehead. “You sure you aren’t sick, dear?” she asks. “You feel quite hot.”

“I’m alright,” Jungwoo says, though he’s taken several water breaks. “I can manage.”

Jungwoo pulls through, singing a few runs of O Holy Night with the help of a pastor. _A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices._ The lyrics and melody bring Jungwoo a sense of peace.

Once practice is done, Jungwoo sits on a bench at the corner of the main hall to check his messages. None from his parents, as expected. But one from Yukhei, it seems.

 _Hope ur practice goes well!_ the message reads. _Rooting for u!!!!_

 _Went good,_ Jungwoo writes back. _U should really consider joining._

 _Can’t sing man,_ comes the reply, almost instantly.

Jungwoo smiles. _Doesn’t stop anyone here, does it?_

He gets some laughing emojis in return. Jungwoo means to reply further, but he starts to feel much too cold and decides to head on back home.

The whole way back, Jungwoo is sneezing and having to wipe his nostrils every few seconds. The nearer he is to his house, the sicker he feels, the more dread reverberates in his heart. It’s not that he hates his parents. Because he really doesn’t. Or perhaps he does, just a little bit. It’s been a slow but sure spiral into disaster with them. One of these days, he’s pretty sure his mom is going to get up, pack her bags, and leave his dad’s sorry drunk ass. In the process, she’ll leave Jungwoo as well. He’s already come to terms with this scenario, but it still makes him sad.

The lights are open at their house. One of them is bound to be home. Which of them, Jungwoo can’t be sure.

He hesitates. With all that’s happened today, he doesn’t know how he can face his parents in the lifeless way that he always does. He doesn’t know if he can hide his emotions this time around.

Jungwoo shuts his eyes tight.

It is getting even colder outside, perhaps too cold for Jungwoo to bear. Despite the hate he has for this weather, Jungwoo carries on and makes a run for Youngho’s house, merely a few blocks away from his own.

When he’s in front of Youngho’s gate, he sends his friend a message.

_In front of ur house. Let me in?_

He waits, sneezes some, and blows his nose before he gets a reply.

_What? Why?_

Jungwoo’s sighs and he types his response as fast as he can.

_I’m having a crisis._

A minute later, Youngho says: _Sucks dude. But now’s not rly a good time, if u know what I mean. Go 2 Doyoung’s instead?_

Jungwoo frowns. He doesn’t know why he counted on Youngho in the first place.

He decides not to honour Youngho’s text with a reply. Instead, Jungwoo decides he might as well head to Yukhei’s, which is still a few streets off. He grows more weary with every minute but his resolve not to go back to his house tonight is strong enough to keep him going. Though to be certain he won’t be shooed away, he brings his phone back out to send Yukhei a message.

_Can’t go home 2night. Can I stay over at urs?_

In typical Yukhei fashion, the reply is quick. _Yo! Course u can. Let’s talk._

 _Thanks_ , Jungwoo says. _I’m nearby actually._

Jungwoo has to trudge through a slope to get to Yukhei’s house, which is a small, white-walled bungalow that Yukhei and his mother share. Jungwoo knows he’s imposing too much, though he also knows Yukhei’s mom works the night shift at an hotel. Yukhei’s dad, meanwhile, is alive but nowhere to be found in Yukhei’s life.

The home, Jungwoo discovers, is as neat as ever. He doesn’t know why he even thought of going to Youngho’s. Yukhei’s house has always been homier. Yukhei’s bedroom, for one, is spotless, with its lone futon, the small stereo, and the tiny shelf with Yukhei’s slowly widening collection of CDs, arranged in alphabetical order by name of the artist. The curtains on Yukhei’s bedroom window are navy blue, with rocket patterns, much like his bedsheets and pillowcases. If there’s one thing that Jungwoo could complain about, it’s the heating system, which is virtually non-existent.

They sit against the wall of Yukhei’s bedroom. Jungwoo warms up by wrapping himself in the blankets Yukhei provided him, as well as the cup of tea that Yukhei prepared. Yukhei slips into the sheets with him as Jungwoo tells Yukhei what had happened: how he’d arrived home, how he didn’t have the courage to open the door.

“They weren’t always like that, you know. After my brother died—things were ok for a time. Not perfect, of course, but…manageable. But then something in both them just—snapped, I guess. Somehow they decided they weren’t gonna work on things anymore. And it’s—It’s left me…”

Jungwoo doesn’t want to cry all over Yukhei’s sheets so he closes his eyes and tries to calm himself. He sets the tea down and places his hands on the floor. Breathes.

Yukhei’s hand, it seems, has found its way to Jungwoo’s hair. Yukhei caresses him. “It’s ok,” he says and Jungwoo melts into it.

“You’re lucky I didn’t have anyone around like Youngho did.”

Jungwoo bites his lower lip.

“Do you actually do that?” he says, meeting Yukhei’s gaze. “Bring random people to your house just to—you know. Do stuff?”

“I have,” Yukhei says, nonchalant. “You know Joohyun? She was over here last night. And Chaeyoung? Came over last week. Like I said, right, I got—”

“Five fuck buddies. I know, I know.”

Jungwoo decides that he doesn’t want to hear about Yukhei’s fuck buddies. The idea of it makes him feel sick.

For a few minutes, they sit in silence. Jungwoo lets his head drop onto Yukhei’s shoulder. He feels Yukhei hook their pinky fingers together, with both their palms flat on the floor.

Jungwoo turns and sees Yukhei’s warm smile. He feels heat forming on his cheeks.

To make matters worse, Yukhei lifts his fingers to brush Jungwoo’s cheek and touch his hair. At this, Jungwoo flinches and turns away.

“You don’t have to be so guarded, Jungwoo. It’s just me.”

Yukhei draws his face nearer to Jungwoo’s and Jungwoo feels his gaze, smells a faint hint of Yukhei’s apple-scented shampoo.

“I’m sick,” Jungwoo says.

“I’ll comfort you,” Yukhei says. “Let me cuddle you, ok? Let’s go to bed, man. C’mon.”

Jungwoo looks at Yukhei’s smiling face. He’s making Jungwoo feel so exposed, but if the fuzzy feeling in his stomach is anything to go by, Jungwoo reckons he might actually be enjoying this.

With hesitation, Jungwoo nods, removing himself from Yukhei’s gaze. This is how he ends up with his head against Yukhei’s chest, as Yukhei’s arms wrap him in a giant hug. Jungwoo thinks this might be better than any functional heating system.

“Is this okay?”

Jungwoo looks up and sees the soft expression on Yukhei’s face. “It’s fine,” he says, though in truth, it’s more than just fine.

Yukhei plants his nose in Jungwoo’s hair. “I give the best cuddles, you know. It’s just another one of my talents.”

Jungwoo quirks an eyebrow. “Can you remind me what your other talents are?”

“Ha!” Yukhei laughs. “Well, I find it better to demonstrate instead of just talking about it.”

“Then demonstrate.” Jungwoo licks his lips.

They find each other’s eyes again and Jungwoo is faced with Yukhei’s ever-growing smile. Yukhei moves his body lower so his face is at Jungwoo’s level. He lifts a hand to run it through Jungwoo’s hair.

“So what’s this talent of yours huh?” Jungwoo says, expecting to experience something that would make him feel nicer than he already does.

“Shh,” Yukhei says. “Let me concentrate.”

Jungwoo notices that Yukhei’s eyes have changed. They’re darker, brooding. Yukhei’s fingers, meanwhile, move from Jungwoo’s hair to his cheek, then to his lips, which Yukhei touches and pulls apart, almost making Jungwoo take a finger into his mouth. Which Jungwoo decides is an idea he isn’t so disgusted by. He welcomes it, in fact.

Yukhei’s face draws close and, fuck, Jungwoo definitely has a hard-on now. It doesn’t help that Yukhei’s breath is so damn hot. And things just escalate from there. Yukhei closes the distance between them in one short, but achingly soft kiss.

Jungwoo keeps his eyes on Yukhei’s lips, which have formed a smile that could only be read as evil.

After a few short breaths, they meet each other halfway. They kiss and Yukhei brings out his tongue, which he uses to give Jungwoo a slow lick on the lips. At the same time, Yukhei’s hands start roaming around Jungwoo’s body. For a second, he gropes Jungwoo’s hard-on before he moves his hand to cup Jungwoo’s ass. The whole ordeal makes Jungwoo whimper.

“You are very, very talented,” Jungwoo says, breathing hard.

“I know right?” Yukhei smiles, kisses him harder and pulls them closer together. Their crotches rub against each other. As expected, whatever is under Yukhei’s sweatpants feels big.

It might be the impending illness talking. Or it might be the fact that no one’s ever made him feel this warm before. But Jungwoo has the craziest idea, which he finds the courage the verbalise.

“I wanna blow you,” Jungwoo says, kissing Yukhei with more gusto.

“Fuck,” is all Yukhei can say, as Jungwoo grabs the garter of Yukhei’s pants.

He pushes Yukhei to lie on his back and Jungwoo, though feeling dishevelled, does not hesitate as he pulls down Yukhei’s pants to reveal his cock.

It feels like such a momentous moment when Jungwoo gives it the first lick. Never has he done this before, so he just does what he feels is right. He kisses the tip of Yukhei’s cock, eliciting a loud moan from Yukhei’s mouth. The sound of Yukhei’s pleasure gives Jungwoo more nerve. He kisses the shaft and gives it another lick.

Jungwoo thinks he might not mind getting addicted to this. He grabs Yukhei’s cock by the shaft and he begins to take it in his mouth.

“God, fuck, you’re good at this,” Yukhei says, placing a hand at the back of Jungwoo’s head.

“It helps that you taste nice,” Jungwoo says, because Yukhei really, really does.

Jungwoo fails to get the whole thing in his mouth, but Yukhei caresses him and tells him it’s okay. The room, after that, becomes filled with the sound of their moans. Jungwoo hums and whimpers as he takes Yukhei’s cock and the vibration seems to make Yukhei moan louder and louder.

“Ah— _Fuck_ —” Jungwoo finishes Yukhei off with a handjob. This leaves Yukhei panting and Jungwoo feeling very, very proud of himself.

With the help of Yukhei’s hand, Jungwoo gets to cum as well. Despite the salty taste on Jungwoo’s tongue, they kiss as Yukhei quickly brings Jungwoo to an orgasm.

They wipe each other with tissues from a box Yukhei produces from his cabinet. Yukhei is still careful when he touches Jungwoo, taking his time to get all the cum off Jungwoo’s face and stomach. When they finish, Jungwoo grabs Yukhei into a tight hug and rests his head on Yukhei’s shoulder.

“This is just what I needed,” Jungwoo says.

Yukhei chuckles. “You needed to suck me off?”

“Don’t make fun,” Jungwoo says. His eyes start to droop. The warmth of Yukhei’s body makes him want to curl up with him under a blanket and fall asleep.

This, luckily, is what Yukhei has them do as they both doze off, comfortable in each other’s company.

Jungwoo is pretty sure it’s the best sleep he’s ever had since he was a child.

He wakes up spooned, tight in Yukhei’s embrace. The smell of Yukhei makes him blush. For some reason, this doesn’t feel weird, even though it practically came out of nowhere.

“Hey,” comes Yukhei’s voice.

Jungwoo nuzzles against him. “Hey,” he says.

“This is okay, right?” Yukhei asks.

“No,” Jungwoo goes.

“Wait what?”

Jungwoo laughs and rolls around so he can grab Yukhei’s face and kiss him silly.

“Cute,” Jungwoo says. “You’re so fucking cute.”

“Well, you’re not half bad yourself!”

Jungwoo smiles, kisses him soft. “Will you come to church with me?”

Yukhei kisses him quickly. “Wish I could,” he says. “But I got a job, remember?”  
  
Jungwoo sighs. “Right. But—” He bites his lip. “Will you at least promise me that you’ll watch the concert? It’s in a few days and—I’m pretty sure the others won’t be coming and—I don’t wanna be alone.”

“Dude.” Yukhei pulls Jungwoo close to his chest. “ _Dude_.” Jungwoo knows this is Yukhei’s way of saying yes.

“Do you wanna come over to my house after work?”

Jungwoo fiddles with the hem of Yukhei’s shirt, waiting for an answer.

Of course, there was no other possible reply but yes. And Jungwoo kind of knew this before he even asked.

Practice today goes better than usual. Jungwoo still feels a little sick and he starts to wonder, as he sings with the choir, if Yukhei is going to catch his cold. But Jungwoo finds that his own voice is still intact and he’s still able to sing to the best of his ability, which is all that matters for now.

When he gets home that day, his father is watching TV and his mother is cooking dinner. It seems shit hasn’t hit the fan just yet, so this gives Jungwoo some relief.

“Hi mom,” Jungwoo goes, sitting by the dining table in their kitchen. He looks around and finds the picture of him and Minwoo, still in its frame, sitting on a countertop.

“Hello dear,” his mom says, without looking at him.

Jungwoo smiles, both at his mom and at the picture of his brother. There’s a plate of biscuits on the table, so he takes one, extends one in honour of Minwoo’s memory before he starts munching.

A couple of hours later, Jungwoo decides to watch TV with his dad. It’s an historical drama playing and Jungwoo isn't sure if his dad is actually interested.

“They got a good set,” Jungwoo’s dad says, while scratching his chin.

“Oh—” Jungwoo doesn’t know what to make of that. “Yeah, I guess so. Pretty detailed.”

These are the only words they share for the rest of the day.

By the time the ending credits roll, Jungwoo gets a text from Yukhei, telling Jungwoo that he’s on his way. In another text, Yukhei tells him to look at his Instagram stories. Jungwoo quickly loads the app and finds that Doyoung, Youngho, and Yuta decided to send Jungwoo a message through Yukhei’s account.

Jungwoo laughs. His dad looks at him weird from the other side of the couch but Jungwoo doesn’t care.

In the first shot, Jungwoo sees some fries arranged to spell “We’re Sorry Jungwoo,” which Jungwoo reckons was Youngho’s idea. In the next, he finds a still shot of Doyoung, Youngho, and Yuta, their hands clasped in front of their bowed heads, pleading for forgiveness. After that, it’s Doyoung talking first, saying they’ll be at Jungwoo’s concert. Yuta interjects and says that Jungwoo’s stupid for thinking otherwise.

Jungwoo laughs at each one, but it’s the last that really sends him cackling.

“Yo!!!” Yukhei practically screams, but then he calms down, winks, gives him a flying kiss, “This is all for you, man. Love you to _death_. Peace!”

The story moves on and it’s no longer Yukhei’s, so Jungwoo locks his screen. He has to hide his face in a pillow to hide the rush of happiness from his dad. In the end, Jungwoo thinks this is all he actually needed. In the end, all he needed were a few words, some spelled out through French fries, the others screamed out by a ridiculous boy.

Very briefly, Jungwoo thinks, perhaps, the next days won’t be so hard to bear after all.

**THE END.**


End file.
